The Anti-Spam Rant
Alright you SPAMing assholes...I've got a bone to pick with you! Why the hell do you flood my computer with your advertisements? I don't understand the logic behind this method. You send out millions of emails, annoying the fuck out of potential customers, and then you expect to receive some sort of positive feedback. Don't you get that I will NEVER EVER buy anything from your sorry asses BECAUSE you send me SPAM? Also, I'd like to let you in on a few secrets of mine...
#1. I don't have a penis, and I don't want it to grow 6 inches!
#2. I don't want to see hot slutty teen action.
#3. I don't even want to know what Farm Fun is...
#4. I don't want a "free" set of pots.
and for the last fucking time...
I DON'T HAVE A PENIS!
You guys can take you penis enlargement pills, your sick under-aged animal porno, your pots and your god damn toaster and shove them up your spamming asses because I don't want any of it!
PAPER and DIGITAL SPAM MUST STOP!
Moral of the Story: I'd be a kickass president, biotch!